Tossing and Tortured 'Till Dawn

I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Last night's car-car collision today was a complete non-incident, and wins both the award and the pet peeve of the day.

We were both making a late night convenience-store run, backing out of parking spaces that were at a 90-degree angle from one another. That's the first part of the pet peeve.

We zigged when we should've zagged, as you might say, and bang, the bumpers hit. We both win part of the award for being calm, rational guys who don't view our automobiles as extensions of our penises. Both slightly miffed, we looked at one another, glanced at the bumpers (barely a scratch visible in the admittedly dim streetlights) and shrugged.

"Shit, man, I didn't see which way you were coming from."
"Yeah, sorry, I don't know."
"Well, don't look like there's any harm. We cool?"
"Yeah, we're cool."

With that, we shook hands and drove off.

Here's my observations from the incident:
  • Both of us were driving compact passenger cars. This means that the bumpers were on a level, so they, well, bumped each other. This allowed the cars' suspension to take the full force of the impact, and not have any unfortunate meetings of hard metal onto soft decklids or brittle glass. It's sort of ridiculous that, although I'm pretty sure car manufacturers are all required to put their bumpers at a standard height, that either doesn't apply to trucks and SUVs, or there's no restriction on aftermarket lifting. Either way, I've seen the aftermath of truck vs car head on collisions in which the truck's lifted front end monster-trucks it up the hood of the passenger car and slams the cattle-guarded truck bumper into the car's windshield. That just shouldn't be allowed.

  • This parking lot is another pet peeve. It looks like this: Presume the store is "north." Along the NORTH and EAST side of the lot, there are parking spaces. The SOUTH side is an impassible curb-ditch, and the only exit involves heading WEST for a few metres, then turning SOUTH. The NORTH and EAST spaces are such that the east-most NORTH and the north-most EAST cars will be basically end to end, and both need to both reverse and turn SOUTHEAST either 90 or 180 degrees to exit the lot. What kind of idiocy is that? What they should've done is made the north wall slant-parking tilting slightly east.

And can we please stop having cars bumpers covered with plastic that seems designed to shatter on impact?

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