Tossing and Tortured 'Till Dawn

I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Pet Peeves and Awards of the day:

Answering machines -- "Hey, Argent, you there? If you are, pick up." Ryan mentioned having an answering machine, instead of voice mail, on his land line. For the past five years I've been mobile-only, and so often I've lamented not having a way to go back to the beeping tape players of old. Now we get, what, four rings, and then wham, here's the voice mail. Also, since we've all got Caller ID, we have a pretty good idea of who's on the phone. So, you miss the call, you dial them back, only now their line is engaged because they are in the process of leaving you a message. Either you get to call back and forth five times to actually reach each other, or the other party picks up the call waiting and you end up with this voice mail that gets cut off halfway through as they click over.

And another thing. Can't we just have "Hi, it's Joe, leave a message. BEEP!" I'm tired of "To leave your callback number, press 5 now. To leave a voice mail, press 1, or just wait for the tone. When you are finished recording, hang up, or press pound for more options ... Hi, it's Joe, leave a message ... " I seriously don't leave messages for people sometimes because I don't want to sit through this shit.

Can't we come up with something better?


Dragonflies -- these guys win the award of the day. Why can't all bugs be like dragonflies? Despite many of them being fairly large, somehow they can fly backwards, sideways, diagonally, and into hyperspace. Riding around in the summer, I smack into all sorts of little flying things. A lot of them sting, bite, and most splatter. Somehow, I've never run into a dragonfly. Tbey just diagonally out of the way! Today I must have hit 47 bugs of considerable size, and don't even get me STARTED on clouds of gnats. Ugh! Another cool thing about dragonflies is that they are, apparently, absolutely harmless. I'm not exactly sure what it is that they do, but they have no interest in doing it to people. They don't bite, don't sting, and are otherwise just decorative. Forza dragonflies!


Apartment Nazis -- My apartment management company litters the entryways of the complex with a little monthly newsletter. They're mostly preachy, smarmy, and irrelevant. A basic sampling of this month's crap:
  • Vehicles parked in the complex with expired registration will be towed.
  • Bicycles may not be stored on patios
  • The front door to your apartment is self-closing. Don't let it slam!
  • NO FIREWORKS are permitted!
  • The pool closes promptly at 10:00 pm.
  • Rent paid on the 5th will be assessed a $75.00 late fee. NO EXCEPTIONS!
  • Oh, and have a happy fourth,you know.
Yeah, those bicycles on patios are such a BLIGHT on the community. A quick survey of the buildings I can see shows that about half of apartments have this seemingly normal accessory. It must be stopped!

If you build this apartment with stupid, piece-of-shit self-closing doors that are heavy, but lack the little pneumatic thing that slows them down (ever open most screen doors?), what do you expect people to do? When I come in the door with my bicycle in one hand, messenger bag on my back, and gear in the other hand, do NOT expect me to suddenly drop my shit to catch your stupid door. And I had better not take that BICYCLE to the patio, either.

Actually, I don't, because it's worth $3,000, and the "gate" to the complex has worked basically 4 days out of 4 months I've lived here.

And I recognize that rent is TECHNICALLY due on the 1st, but every company in existence does this whole "pay by the 5th" thing, to allow for differences in paychecks and stuff. My previous apartment was "by the 7th," even. "By the 4th" is one day earlier than every other apartment in the area. $75 is a lot of money for forgetting that 24 hours. No, I've never had to pay it.


  • At 2:21 PM , Blogger ryan said...

    Much as I like my actual rooms and location, my building is total shite. Not only is it the only place I've ever lived where rent is due on the 4th, but they are also the most unresponsive bunch of a-holes ever.

    The move-in process was held up for over a week by my lame manager, who proceeded to wait until a week after I moved in to get my mail key to me (though I had to go down to his office every day requesting it).

    He also screwed me out of my DSL modem and cost me a trip up to Swan Island to retrieve it by failing, three days in a row, to add my name and number to the entry call list. It still is not on there.

    He lectured me on foiling or otherwise obstructing my windows, but the broken outer pane of one of my street-accessible windows has remained broken, despite a promise to get it fixed before I moved in.

    My key has not worked in the front entrance for about a week, though it works fine in the side entrance. This wouldn't be a problem if he would simply assign me a door code.

    The elevator doesn't stop on my floor due to a broken instrument panel, but I do live on the second floor, so this isn't any kind of problem.

    It doesn't appear to have been cleaned before I moved in, though the previous tenant does seem to have been a rather tidy woman.

    It is important to reiterate at this point that I do love my apartment. It is huge and stays very cool even in the heat.

  • At 3:06 PM , Blogger Argentius said...

    Wow, that's impressive crap.

    One of my favorite things about my late Portland apartment was that, despite being an older downtown building, it was part of PSU housing. This meant that they were actually required to maintain the building well, and NOT be out to screw over each tennant as much as possible.

    Even then, they fouled up getting me the right key 4 times, mis-installed my DSL (OC1 fraction, actually,) mis-read the number on another client's move out, causing maintainence guys to enter my apartment at an unfortunate time, and didn't fix a broken pipe in the the wall that disabled my bathroom sink for 3 weeks. And the boilers / hot water got turned off for "system maintainence" about 1 day a week for a good 6 months.

    Glad you can handle the stairs one floor. As a move-in gift to my old apartment, my mother bought me a nice bed, since I had this awful secondhand one. It came with free delivery, and when they showed up. got the mattress from the street, through the courtyard, into the entryway, they asked, "whew! okay, where's the elevator."

    Sorry, guys, there isn't one. Fifth floor! Stairs! Two flights per floor! Nine-and-a-half-foot ceilings!

    I loved that apartment, too. Old buildings are SO worth it.

    Your building appears to have had the courtyard-no-elevator thing of older buildings at one point, too, and then one retro-fitted onto it, if it's the building I'm thinking of. Es verdad?


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