Tossing and Tortured 'Till Dawn

I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

A terrible admission: I have hotmail. Occasionally, I even succumb to reading the "relationship" and "fashion" advice columns that are constantly popping up -- mostly for the laughs.

There's a series of "10 things you don't know about women" that they enlist various female celebrities, and "celebrities," to write. But Alyssa Milano's is actually kind of funny. It includes:
  • 3. Women like porn, too. We just hate it when you hide the porn.

  • 5. An eyelash curler, while mean and ferocious looking, is not a weapon.

  • 8. "Hey, Melissa, who's the boss?" Not a good pickup line. "Hey, Phoebe, where'd you park your broomstick?" Not a good pickup line. "Hey, Alyssa, you look 250 pounds lighter than Brian Dennehy in that dress." Surprisingly good pickup line.
I remember the first time I saw a fancy makeup kit that included an eyelash curler. It felt like one of those film scenes where the torture kit is ceremoniously brought out and displayed to terrify the would-be victim into telling.

Also, help me out here. A woman proposed this to me, and I'm not sure what to make of it. So, l's and g's, true or false:

"When a woman exercises in public, the odds of her being dressed to impress approach 1:1."

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