Tossing and Tortured 'Till Dawn

I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Ex-Pet Peeve of the Day: The Hop.

So, in cyclocross, where they put obstacles in the way, you have to do this nonsense of riding your bike, leaping off it while in motion, then grabbing the bike and carrying it up / over / around the obstacles. Then, while still running, you put your bike back down, get on, and get going again.

Only, the idea is never to stop in the first place, so you’ve got to basically run and push your bike, then jump back into the saddle. This isn’t

They call it “the leap of faith.” If you’re male, it should scare you. It scared me, and so I did what most other scared-y-cats do and kinda hopped rather than just jumping. On Monday I decided I was done with that crap and decided I was going to drill it out of myself, so I found some grass, put up some obstacles, and started a’jumping.

Now, I can do it. I have yet to do it in a race, but if I can get out of work I’ll see if I can’t get it done this weekend. That was Monday.

Today is Wednesday, and I can still barely walk. New Pet Peeve of the Day: RUNNING. Argh. I can ride my bike for five hours and not kill myself, so long as I keep the pace moderate, but one little hour practice of run-ride-run-ride and I’m hurting for days.

What gives?

Weren’t we, um, built to do this? I mean, evolution or god or whoever didn’t design humanity’s bipedal nature with bicycles in mind – did it? DIDN’T it? My hip flexors hurt. My shin-muscle, whatever that’s called, hurts. My hamstrings hurt. My knees stopped hurting, but when I was done running I popped my left knee, and it sounded like a 12-gauge.

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And Another Thing: The Full Speed Ahead Wing Pro Anatomic Shallow Drop Handlebar. Aside from taking longer to say than it does to install, who built this thing, and who did they build it for?

It’s for aliens with 3 fingers that are 10 inches long, that’s what it’s for. Now, really, what’s wrong with a regular old handlebar? Well, nothing, except that it’s not as good a marketing strategy as this thing.

It doesn’t look so bad in these pictures, because it’s not all taped up. Trust me, it’s frightening. The top is too wide to get your fingers around, the drop is too shallow to get your hands in. There’s really no comfortable positions on it at all.

Great. This is the bar that was standard issue on my new team bike. Thanks, guys.

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