Tossing and Tortured 'Till Dawn

I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Product review: Rocket Shower Body Cleaner


You've just finished a race or group ride. One hundred miles of sweating later, you pull into the parking lot, chug some gatorade and stuff a few Clif bars into your face -- or maybe it's a Coke and cookies, whatever. Now you've got to get out of your chamois (Fine, I'll write "Shammy," if that makes you feel better) and get into some clothes for the drive home.


You're carpooling with two other riders. That's four hundred miles of sweating. The staging area is just a parking lot with porta potties -- no shower facilities present. The drive home is three hours. This is going to get pretty bad.

Original Solution: Did you remember to bring baby wipes? That goopy Purell hand sanitizer stuff? Let's find a gas station with a walk-in bathroom and use those, plus about five million paper towels, to try to achieve some semblance of clean.

New plan: Rocket Shower.

This stuff is, let's all admit it, unfortunately named. Who wants to say, "I just took a Rocket shower!" But, apart from that, what's the deal here? Essentially like baby wipes and moisturizers in a bottle, this stuff is kind of a next-best-thing. Yours truly is kind of quirky when it comes to ride sweating, so I'm a bit of a strange test subject. I sweat quite little, but I absolutely hate the feeling of dirt and junk on my skin after a ride -- it makes me feel run down and exhausted until I can get to a shower.

I was dubious, then, about Rocket Shower's efficacy. I mean, seriously? Witch hazel? Was this going to be another Assos Chamois cream?

Well, kind of. It does essentially contain a bunch of alcohol plus some oils and herbal stuff. It stings if you get it into little cuts. Spray on, wax wipe off. Done. Its scent really does dissipate as it evaporates, it's not loaded with scents, perfumes, sodium lauryl phosphate, and whatever scary stuff Febreeze contains. Do I feel clean after using it?

Kind of. The worst part is my face, which still feels a bit grimy. I'll admit I've been conservative in hosing my face down with Rocket Shower, considering I'd rather not burn my eyes out with the alcohol in there. Overall, though, it's a heck of a lot better than if I didn't have anything, and -- how shall I put this -- I think it'll help avoid saddle sores in the future. I'm still glad that I have access to real shower facilities at work after my hour-long daily bike commute in. Still, I will certainly put some in my travel bag for future events.


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